I am so conflicted with posting this post.
It goes against everything I am about, and I know that I may lose some of you guys from it... but I must tell you all some things.
First of all... I love you all but I might be closing this blog down once the sponsors have had a good go at being sponsors, and I will not stop posting until the end to give them that good go but I have come to realize that while this blog is about me it is a lot about being a wife, and I am not one anymore... and honestly I never felt like one. It is also about being a wife to a military man, and hell that was the only thing true to life I ever felt... PTSD, Visions, Paranoia and all that stuff... Deployments, anger, and constant his way.. He is a good man.. just not the good man I need or want. From day one of my marriage I found myself being very shielded from my loved ones and this blog... My ex-husband was very controlling, and I know I have never talked about that before but it is true. He did not want his name on here let alone mine, He did not want our photos on here. He did not like this blog.. and I must tell you that it all hurt me so much that I tried to just close that out, and paint a picture of happy family. WE were not.
For the next thing.. this move I am making is for a good friend of mine, someone that has been in my life for over 5 years... and while we have always been at the wrong time and place in life. I know in my heart of hearts that I love this man. Now I know what you are all thinking... this is a rebound. No! My ex-husband and I since our marriage have only been together for 30 days total. Sad huh... Very.
This whole post might be hard to read because it jumbled, and written through a tear face but I will try hard to explain it all to you in time... just be patient.
21 comments:
It's sad to hear you're going through such a difficult time. Nobody should ever judge your actions or your thoughts..they are yours to make and yours to keep. If you follow your intuition and your heart I believe you'll always be on the right path. Stay strong.
I hope you always blog somewhere. These are your choices and I've never read a thing here which lead me to "question" you. You're still pretty private here. You are a great example of the kind of woman who doesn't settle, and forges on no matter the circumstances.
I'm sorry you are going through all of this =(
Thanks for letting us in on your thoughts.
I'm sorry your marriage wasn't what you wanted it to be. Moving to be closer to someone that you feel is good for you and makes you happy is a great idea, even if people might think it's a rebound.
It's your life, live it the way that will make you happy.
I'm so sorry your marriage wasn't what you were hoping for. I love your blog and hope you continue to do so (if it's something that makes you happy). XO
Im sorry to hear you are going through a rough time. And I'm sorry to hear that your marriage didn't work out. But one day you will meet someone who is worth it and will treat you like you should be treated :) I hope you continue blogging. I love your blog and you are such a sweet girl.
xoxo
Samantha
Wow sounds like our exes were very similar! Im so sorry that you are going through this. I hoe you continue blogging because I love your blog. But you of course have to do what is right for YOU!!! If you ever need someone to talk to I'm a really good listener... I hope things start looking up for you!
Please don't feel you need to apologise to anyone about this - it's your life and I know you'll make the best decisions for yourself, I just hope it gets sorted out sooner rather than later. Let me know when you move and email me your new address - I have some pretty London things to send you :)
I'm so sorry your going through all this! I love your blog! But no matter what I am here for you friend! =)
Even if you just need to talk!
I'm sorry you're going through all of this!! You def deserve the best, pretty girl!! Keep this blog, if it helps YOU get through anything!
Thank you for being so honest. If you ever want to chat - shoot me an email! ;) Or a pen pal letter. Whatever works! I hope you're doing all right and it sounds like you're making peace and ready to move on. Go you!
It's really sad to hear that you want to shut your blog down. Not saying that because I'm a sponsor either. This blog is a reflection of you and I know your readers would want to help you through your divorce and celebrate the new relationship with you. The blogging community is a supportive one and I would be sad to see you leave it! I'll be praying for you though because I know this is a difficult time in your life!
Olivia... although I wasn't married to a military man and probably didn't go through exactly what you've gone through, aside from that I this that I could have written this post. Marrying someone that didn't end up being who I thought he was, finally pulling away from him and then ending up with a man that is very quickly becoming everything I've ever needed and wanted.
I'm exhausted right now so I hope this comment makes sense. But if you ever need to talk, please email me.
Also, I truly hope that you decide to not end your blog. Just because your marriage is over doesn't mean that there aren't so many people that love having you in this blog world. I know I'd be sad if you left.
Sending you good thoughts friend.
Girl! Hang in there!!!
PS: Tried to "grab your button" a couple of times but an error message pops up.
I agree. dont give up on the blog...you'll find it a place of healing believe me.
I hate to hear that you're going through so much, and I'm thinking about you! I know I haven't commented much in the past, but I really have loved hearing about your life and reading your posts.
Kudos to you for getting out of your marriage--no one should have the right to tell you what to you except you. I wish you the very best in all of your decisions, and I'll keep reading if you keep posting! :)
So sorry to hear you are going through a hard time. Just take care of YOU!
I feel really sorry for you!! But it sounds like you make the right decision! Just be strong, I think/hope everything is going to be ok :)
I am so sorry for everything you are going through and have been through. I understand why you are going to stop blogging but I'm going to miss you.
Hang in there!!! It will all be alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end!
I am so sorry to hear about everything you are going through. I have enjoyed reading your blog :) Good luck with everything and i will be praying for your. Stay strong!
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